Nick Jones

God, Life, Religion

Chemo Round 2 Starts

Chemo Round 2

Yesterday I started round two of chemotherapy. Here’s how I looked at the beginning of the day, I know, warrior-like. Unfortunately by the end of the day I felt like total crap. Attitude is important, but sometimes attitude isn’t enough to deal with the physical effects of the chemotherapy. During the whole treatment I just felt myself getting more and more tired and weak. The worst part about the whole thing was that I was starting to feel like myself again, just in time to start another round of chemo.

I had started to forget about how I felt during my first round of chemo, the tiredness, heartburn, weakness, and the list could go on. It was really frustrating to go from feeling pretty good and getting stronger to almost immediately feeling weak and tired. But it has to be done.

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On a positive note, I can ride my bike! Just not outside. I think I mentioned this before, but the biggest reason my doc doesn’t want me riding my bike outside is because of the high risk for injury and road rash. The last thing I want right now when my white blood cell count is low is to deal with cuts, scrapes, and serious injuries that could come from cycling.

However, someone mentioned to me the possibility of riding a stationary bike. I don’t have a stationary bike, but I do have a trainer for my bike, so I asked my doc yesterday about that and he was all for it. He told me that’s a perfect way to keep up my cycling, as long as I go easy and don’t push myself (we all know how well I can do that). So when I feel a little better I’ll be setting my bike up on the trainer in my living room so I can ride my bike.

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Don’t be fooled, chemo is rough. Just because I try and face each day with a warrior’s face doesn’t mean that it’s easy. In fact while receiving chemo I’ve spent lots of time sleeping, in pain, and just plain wiped. There have been times where I feel strong mentally, and then there are times when all I can do is crumple to the the floor weeping because I hate how I feel. I can’t help my wife who is in her third trimester with our little girl. I don’t have the energy to help out with house work that I used to do. It’s so frustrating because as a man I feel the need and desire to take care of my family.

One thing I have to keep telling myself is that I’m going through this so I can continue taking care of my family. Going through chemo will give me a longer life than allowing the cancer to progress. I will be able to care for my family once this is finished. I will be able to take care of my wife, I will be able to again contribute to the household, just in time for our little girl to be born.

So if you’re reading this and you’re about to go through chemo for testicular cancer, know that it will be rough. It’s not a peachy experience. But also know that you are doing what is best for your family. Allow yourself to be taken care of, allow yourself to ask for help, know that after the weakness strength will come and soon you will be able once again to take care of your family. I’m looking forward to that day.

Day 23 almost over, treatment number 7 almost done. I can do this.

8 Comments

  1. Bravo NIck for being strong even through pain. Brave is not how you feel, it’s what you do. God bless you! We are praying for you and your family every day!.

  2. Praying for you, Julie, and your sweet baby girl!!!!

  3. Sherry L Watson

    August 5, 2014 at 6:07 pm

    Hi Pastor Nick!
    I have been following the postings of your experiences with Cancer – thank you for your frankness and honesty. It was good to see you at Ray’s memorial and Julie’s baby shower. Today was the day one year ago that I entered the hospital for the fight of my life with illness; thru God’s grace I lived albeit without my toes! My family is so grateful to have me here, so yes, keep on for your wife, son and daughter, they need you! Praying for you, Sherry Watson

  4. “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds , declares the Lord” Jer. 30:17 NIV

  5. You are such an inspiration!! What an example you are setting for us ~ being real and honest about your feelings and your pain, yet not letting them control your life because Jesus controls your life! :):) Inspires me to trust so much more and complain much less.

  6. Hang in there Nick and Julie. So many are lifting you up in prayer as you are on this journey. God is with you. “When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him. Isaiah 59:19. NKJV Love you both – Dan and Mary

  7. Keep strong buddy! You’re in our thoughts and prayers.

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